my life in jesus

bye bye EOI!!

2005-05-07T04:51:00.000+12:45

yay eoi's over! sigh.. concluded dat everyone is living in self-denial today.. like we're all proclaiming that we're free when we're actually not.. considering 5 PTs ahead.. hell.. just dun wanna think about it.. self-deceiving..

watched Coach Carter.. very nice movie worth watching.. actually cried cuz is really touching.. really love how the coach psyches the team up.. makes me sad when i think about my team.. owells.. we're still champions yea..

2005-04-24T05:20:00.000+12:45

blog is conky again..and its dead as usual..
still dunno if i wanna revive it cuz i doubt i have time to update at all.
to all who truly care bout my life..
im fine.. very busy but still holding on strong..
dun worry.. Jesus is still guiding me..
He's still watching over u too, even if u dun believe
thank u for caring
and even if u dun
doesnt matter
i still love u.

2005-03-25T02:48:00.000+12:45

im such a perfectionist.. i hate myself for being such a perfectionist.. im so ambitious.. i want the world.. i want everything i can lay my hands on.. i wanna be gd in everything.. i dun wanna be a perfectionist!!!

final top 5 xuan ba for indiv comps today.. k for the very last time im gonna say, i did not cry becuz i dint get in k? absolutely not.. i alr told myself rite frm the start that im gonna do my best and whatever happens i will accept.. k i prayed hard, i know i really want this opportunity but if He has other plans for me im willing to accept.. as long as i tried my best, no regrets..
but i just cant take the fact y after putting in my all, giving my very best, things have to turn out for the worse.. its like everytime i make an extra effort it will go the other way instead.. really dun mind losing.. but i guess ending up last place isnt a gd feeling.. like losing to ppl i shldnt have lost to.. absolutely.. even her!! oh, not forgetting getting thrashed by yinghui last set.. totally devastated..

and i dun need anyone to pity me or console me out of responsibility or wadeva crap k.. wad he thinks ppl really need his consolation? dun need him to repeat his so called encouragement over and over again.. thinks he's so impt? no way.. no one ever forced him to go give his fake sympathy.. just go away and leave me alone!

tt and trng is not the world to me.. tmr is Good Friday.. im going to spend the entire day remembering wad Jesus has done for me.. stop persuading me to go trng.. i wont.. darn wxf just doesnt understand.. i wont compromise my faith for tt..

long day

2005-03-23T04:39:00.000+12:45

super long day today, morn go science centre for omnimax and physics talk, den go back sch trng den go ms huang's hse for class party/bbq, now im waiting for anna to discuss ss.. tired.. so tempted to go slp..

science centre was ok.. as in omnimax film was nice tho got a bit dizzy, geog talk was gd cuz speaker was quite gd.. physics a bit turned off.. guess im just not into physics really.. aft dat wanted to go sinten change my bat rubber but no time so headed back to sch.. post mortem for trng camp.. trng.. i think i've deproved.. accuracy for la1 qiu2 now is quite bad.. i think jiaolian a bit give up hope on me and rather concentrate on trng weiming instead..owells! oh WXF was asking me bout whether i feel more comfortable and can trust weiming more as a doubles partner or with someone else which i cant say.. honestly dint know wad to say.. as in the answer to me is obvious but i know very well dat obviously its better with her lar.. im sorry i really dun wanna be mean but im really trying very hard not to be easily swayed by how others think.. im really trying hard to think more of the gd pts, seriously so i hope the rest of them can dun be so mean also.. anyway actually i dun think WXF cares bout my answer, he still has his preference no matter how much he defends himself.. owells, shld not talk bout it anymore..

class party was fine.. dint exactly eat a lot but was real full alr.. played a bit of captain's ball which totally screwed, den played bridge.. quite fun lar, its an intellectual game! oh, realised y ms huang speaks the way she does.. cuz she speaks to her p6 bro the same way too.. her bro called her ms huang! imagine having such an elder sister!
tired.. wanna go slp! but have to settle ss if not i'll not rest in peace..lol!

today.

2005-03-22T05:16:00.000+12:45

jtc trip today.. not bad lar actually.. boring at times but quite interesting to see how they work all those chem stuff.. actually looking at all those chemical stuff i think im not really into chemical engineering.. seems too chim for me.. but guess it'll still be cool to work here! haha.. or the One North.. wadeva.. dun think it helped in ss tho, think its more of chemistry den ss..

did RS at chuwen's hse from 830 to bout 11.. tired.. stressed.. we're not done!!! ahh! k nvm.. calm down.. we'll get thru this.. thnx everyone for the work today anyway..esp chuwen who made me feel less stressed actually.. i know i shld have more trust.. gambate ne..

Screwed

2005-03-21T04:55:00.000+12:45

Feelin really tired now.. suddenly feel there's such a huge pile on my shoulders.. cant shrug it off.. rs is dead, all PTs are dead.. i think i've lost sight of my faith.. havent been doing QT for so long alr.. cant concentrate during worship.. ah! Think i'll just stop everything now and get myself back on track.. realise everything goes wrong when i get too busy and neglect Him.. afterall only the Lord can bring me thru all these.. all these yrs.. everything gone wrong.. only thing dat keeps me going is faith in the Lord..

Suddenly reminded of my conversation with someone last thurs bout friends in sch... those who just hang out with u in sch, do stuff with u in sch, just to do with studies, cca, anything to do with sch are just considered classmates or schoolmates.. even if u seem real close to them in sch.. they're just SCHMATES.. cuz u cant really bear ur heart to each other really.. just play and have fun.. end of story..
FRIENDS are those that u can really talk to when u're down, share ur joys and sadness, be honest with each other.. encourage and be there for each other..

do i have any friends?
....
dunno...

but one thing im sure of..
JESUS is my friend...
a TRUE one.. forever..

Convention 05

2005-03-16T18:18:00.000+13:45

RGSSJI convention05 was quite a success! Thank god! cant believe its over now.. have been worrying bout it for so long now its all over.. was like stressed out even minutes before convention started.. yea i think it all turned out quite fine in the end.
Training turned out to be great.. received such great response for the tower building session.. totally chaotic but was soo fun! haha.. all the trading, bargaining and the last minute rush for free materials! omg.. see all of them rush to the front to grab the stuff like whole buncha mad dogs fighting for food.. even took the tables which was our booth! chao amusing sight lar..
Stn games was ok, was station master for radiation with yew liang.. stood under the hot sun the entire time..face got burnt in the end.. owells! too bad couldnt take part in the games.. esp volleydoink.. wouldnt mind getting wet altho i did get bombed by andrew aft that..haha..
Trng session 2 was fine.. all the facil actors were all zai lar.. but i guess we werent very organised when doing the solutions and stuff.. got so flustered actually shouted at germaine for leaving me alone.. im so sorry! I still luv ya germz!
Dance was not as bad as expected but most of us forgot steps and stuff.. a pity we still could not get perfect for the last time.. michelle's dance steps are just too difficult! psfs put up this role play thingy and acted all kinds of weird stuff.. so funny..
wasnt around during empty chair cuz i was stressing over grp souvenirs.. feel so bad dat most of the facils could not join the activities cuz got stuff to do.. cuz i felt inferior over our grp souvenir compared to others so nice.. yea but its the thought dat counts rite? thnx shawn..
convention ended on a very high note.. lotsa ppl crashing here and there when singing songs.. haha.. den some psfs and spsls went to bk for dinner.. psfs started telling lame jokes.. germz has a counterpart andrew, who's as 'fast' as her! haha.. we actually stood at orchard mrt for 1 hr sharing jokes and mostly testing germz intellectual ability which obviously failed! haha.. nearly died laughing..
went home bathed and just slept straight thru.. to tired.. but overall convention really rocked! guess our impression of the sji psfs changed greatly aft today lar.. and i believe vice versa too.. from doubting at first to working together today, is really amazing.. thank u everyone who took part in convention.. will never forget this..

hello.

2005-03-16T16:49:00.000+13:45

sick of my last blog.. but dunno if its a gd idea to start a new one.. suddenly have a thing for stars.. owells!